Michael Lohan is still out-of-the-loop when it comes to daughter Lindsay's life. For instance...everyone in the universe knows Lindsay is planning to marry Sam Ronson sometime later this year. Well, everyone except Michael that is.

"I haven’t heard anything [about a wedding] from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle," Michael told MSNBC's The Scoop. "She knows about my [Christian] faith … she just wouldn’t ask."

He's burning with rage inside...you just know it. He'd be on the phone with Lindsay day and night trying to talk her back to the dick-loving side...if only he knew her number.

X17 has exclusively broken a report that Eva Longorias husband Tony Parker has been cheating on him with a model he allegedly met at their wedding. A video posted on X17 shows the slag, Alexandra Paressant, confessing to meeting Parker in Paris for a rendezvous, then traveling to San Antonio to see him again. Paressant says she met Parker through French soccer player Thierry Henry, and went on to trade naughty text messages and phone calls with Parker, finally hooking up with him in September.

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Hollywood is reportedly all abuzz over Jodie Fosters first public acknowledgement of her lesbianism.

Foster, whos been eating partner Cydney Bernards tuna since at least 1993, finally admitted to said tuna-eating in a dignified, round-about sort of way during a speech at a Women in Entertainment breakfast at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Foster referred to Bernard as her "beautiful Cydney," and thanked Bernard for sticking with her "through all the rotten and the bliss." Foster then said:

I feel fragile, unsure, struggling to figure it all out, trying to get there even though Im not sure where

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Angelina Jolie obviously learned nothing from the infamous "blob" interview, cause shes still going around saying inexplicable, silly things about her bio-kid Shiloh.

Angies latest outrage against her genuine white spawn was perpetrated during a talk with Look Magazine, when the dim-witted humanitarian said:

[Shiloh] looks like Brad. Its funny because shes almost going to be the outcast in the family because shes blonde and blue-eyed.

I felt so much more for Madd, Zahara and Pax because they were survivors.

Shiloh seemed so privileged

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Tom Cruise showed up to help buddy Will Smith make his impressions in the cement at Graumans Chinese Theater. These guys are great. They should totally do a re-make of "Ebony and Ivory." Actually, no, thats a terrible idea. Smith is about as black as I am, and Cruise...I dont know what Cruise is. Kind of cherry blossom pink going by that pic. Maybe they could write a new tune - "Jug-ears and Hitler-Boy" or something like that. Hire Bacharach to whip up some lyrics.

How tight is Cruise gripping Smiths hand in that pic by the way? Is that man-love or is Tom trying to give Smith Scientology by osmosis?

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